The Final Round

“You’re home for a while then” she said?

“Yeah, every now and then I get tired of sitting in airports and sleeping in strange places so I come home for a bit” I joked.

“Where were you this time” she asked?

“Portland…which was great because I have a friend there that I stayed with, and we got to hang out for a while…relax.”

She was more talkative than she had ever been since I’d met her, so I decided to get to the point and ask her about her sessions with Kate.

“That guy that does the posters” she asked?

“Gary…the illustrator…yes. He’ll be coming through town on the way to Austin in March if you’d like to meet him.”

“That would be cool” she replied, “I’d like to do that…you know, for a job.”

“How are you and Kate getting along” I asked?

“She’s nice, and she helps me with Mom and stuff.”

“And how is that going” I asked?

“Mom went with me to see Kate this last time, and at first it was hard to have her there…but Kate got Mom to talk about when she had me and my brother and what she’s been through. I didn’t know…and I felt bad for her…you know, that Mom took that all on.”

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

“Kate’s helped because Mom and I don’t fight anymore…I guess we’ve got more important things to do.”

I started to laugh and it took Mary by surprise since it should have been a solemn moment I suppose.

“What are you laughing at” she asked?

“Just at the wisdom beyond your years that just came out of your mouth” I answered.

“Most people never understand what a waste of energy fighting with another human being is…especially with family.”

“I guess you’re right” she said.

“Oh I know I’m right because I’ve been guilty of it in the past” I said.

“You” she said incredulously?

“I’m guilty of a lot of things” I replied, “And I’ve failed people in the past far more than you ever will from what I can see of you.”

“Wow, I never thought I’d hear you say that” she said. “You, a failure?”

“Sometimes it’s the problems in life that define us Mary…the overcoming of those failures. It forms us into the person that we’d rather be. Failure isn’t a bad thing I guess, but you have to act upon it to correct it. Understand?”

“I guess so, but being pregnant is.”

I interrupted her because in that split second I could finally see her clearly in my mind, without the interference of the past that I had brought to the table.

“Mary, you being pregnant isn’t a failure, it’s just a fact. Where you go from here is for you to decide…what I’m saying is, you define yourself and build off the past, and if you make a choice to be different…that’s a positive step that you can be in control of.”

“The failure would be not to realize that you can be different…and if I implied that in the past…then I owe you an apology.”

She didn’t say anything for a while and just stared at me.

“Maybe you should see Kate too” she said.

I smiled and my mind floated back to a car ride I took with a priest friend of mine out to a cemetery…”I have a guy I can go to” I replied. “Finish your spring roll.”